Home Visit and Joint Interview

Today, our social worker came to our house for a joint interview and inspection of our home.  This time, we weren't nearly as nervous as we were for the individual interviews.  And, it was a good excuse to thoroughly clean our house! :)

Questions we were asked during the joint interview:

• How are you similar to each other?
• How are you different from each other?
• What is working well in your marriage?
• What is challenging in your marriage?
• Describe your physical relationship.
• Is your physical relationship a source of conflict?
• What is your understanding of how abuse (physical, sexual, emotional) affect a child?
• How equipped are you to handle a child with special needs (physical or emotional)?
• What is your understanding of how separation and loss affect a child?
• What have your experiences with others who have adopted or been adopted been like?
• What are the values you want to instill in your child?
• What is the primary goal of discipline?
• How will you discipline your child?  Give at least one specific example.
• Describe your partnership.
• Who will be the primary caretaker of the child in day-to-day matters?
• What are your plans for childcare if you continue working?
• What do your day-to-day lives look like now (without children)?
• What do you expect your day-to-day lives to look like with children?
• What do you do together for fun?
• What type of support have you received during this process?
• What supports do you have in place for issues that may arise after adoption?
• What do you think will be most challenging about having children?
• What do you think will be most rewarding about having children?
• Have you views of adoption changed over the course of this process?
• What are you thought regarding nature vs. nurture?  Which is more important - genetics or environment?
• How do you handle privacy and nudity in the home?  What, if anything, will change in that regard once you have a child?

Things our social worker asked and inspected during the home inspection:

• Square footage of our home
• Age of our home
• Safety equipment (fire extinguisher, smoke detector, carbon monoxide detector, child safety locks/supplies for medicine cabinets, washer, cleaning supplies, etc.)
• Neighborhood make-up (ages, races, children, etc.)
• Neighborhood amenities (pool, tennis courts, etc.)
• Describe the social aspect of our neighborhood 
• How close we are to schools
• How close we are to our church
• How close we are to parks and playgrounds 
• She looked in all the rooms and closets, especially noting the locations of medications, cleaning supplies, and tools
• She looked at Jason's firearms and checked the serial numbers against what was recorded on the form we submitted earlier
• She looked at the bag of child safety supplies we purchased

So, what's next?  We have just a few more pieces of paperwork to get in.  Our social worker is meeting one of our references this afternoon for a face-to-face meeting (required of at least one reference).  Then, she'll write up our home study.  Once it is written, it will either be approved or denied by the Executive Director of our agency.  In the meantime, we need to work on our profile book, which will be shown to birthparents.  Once our home study is approved, we enter the waiting phase, which we've been told can be anywhere from four months to five years...

Please pray specifically for:

1. Our dog license to arrive soon (this is one of the pieces of paperwork that is holding things up)
2. For us to have the stamina this weekend to finish all of our required readings and papers analyzing/responding to those readings
3. For our social worker as she begins the process of writing up our home study
4. For the Lord to continue to prepare the right child for us
5. For the Lord to continue to prepare us to be parents

Love,

Jason and Jeannine

The Paper Chase...

Many people have asked us about the paperwork for the adoption process.  It's a long list, but we divided it up into three categories - what we had to submit for/with our application, what paperwork we had to do at our screening interview in April, and the paperwork we've been working on over the past couple of months.  The good news is that we are almost done - just a few more pieces of paperwork to submit!

Here's a list of what we had to submit for/with our application:

• The Application Itself - contact info, education history, marriage information, employment information, information on our parents and siblings, financial information (assets and liabilities), insurance information (health, disability, life, home, etc.), criminal history, why we want to adopt, what type of child we want to adopt (age range, gender, ethnicity/race, physical or mental challenges), experience with special needs children, physical and behavioral health information, home and neighborhood descriptions.
• References/Recommendations - three personal, one from each of our employers, and one from our pastor.  At least one personal reference had to be local because the agency will need to meet them face to face.  All references had to fill out a form and send it directly to the agency - we have no idea what types of questions were asked other than that our employers had to verify our salary information.  The agency also called each of our references to make sure that they were really the ones who submitted the reference/recommendation forms.

At our screening interview in April, we had to sign a bunch of documents:

• Contract - outlines our agency's services to us and the birthparents, all the definite and possible fees, etc.
• Adoption Subsidy - we had to sign that we are aware that our child could be eligible for an adoption subsidy if he/she was older, has severe physical or mental disabilities, etc.
• Home Safety Form - had to describe where we keep firearms, chemicals, medications, cleaning supplies, tools, a hot tub or swimming pool, pets, etc.
• Post-Adoption Contact with Birth Parents - we had to sign off that we understood the agency's requirements that we send photos and letters to the agency for the first five years of the child's placement so that the birthparents can see those items if they wish.
• Attorney Adoption Agreement - we had to sign that we understand that we will have to hire a lawyer for all of the finalization paperwork and procedures.  We can either use our own lawyer or one recommended by the agency.
• Release of Confidential Information - we had to sign that we authorize our social worker to release information in our adoption record as necessary for adoptive planning and training.
• Adoption Release and Consent Form - this form specifies that we understand and are willing to undertake the risks involved in adoption, including the timing or success of a placement, the conditions (physical, mental, developmental, etc.) of the child, the completeness of a child's medical and social history, etc.
• Authorization for Release of Information - this form gives our county's Child Support Enforcement Office permission to tell our social worker whether or not we have any delinquent child support issues.  Since neither of us have any kids yet, we don't expect this to be an issue. :)
• Changes in Family Status - we agreed that we would let our social worker know immediately about any changes or expected changes to our family composition, marital situation, living situation, employment status, health, etc.
• Birthparent Privacy - we agreed not to seek information regarding the birthparent or the child other than what is given to us by the agency - we need to gain all information through the birthparent him/herself or the agency, not online.  Jason and I jokingly call this the "stalker clause."
• Statement of Discipline - we had to sign that we understood the prohibited punishments for our child, including:  corporal punishment (including spanking and shaking); physical exercise such as running laps or performing pushups; requiring or using force to make the child take an uncomfortable position; verbal ridicule or belittling; denial of emotional response; denial of meals, clothing, bedding, sleep, mail, or visits with birthparents; threatening loss of adoptive placement; and use of mechanical or chemical restraints.

Here's a list of what we had to submit AFTER our initial application and screening interview:

• Medical forms - we each had to go to the doctor for a physical, drug test, and TB test.  The doctor had to fill out a form and send it to our agency.
• Fire Department Inspection - the fire marshall had to come and inspect our house and then send a report to our agency.  She checked for smoke detectors, the size of our windows, our evacuation plan (which we had to draw out on a piece of paper), that our doors and windows all work, etc.
• Code Enforcement Inspection - the code enforcement officer for our county had to come and inspect our house and then send a report to our agency.  She checked for the size of our rooms, appropriate egress from each room, that our house was otherwise up to code (easier for us because we live in a condo), and that our hot water temperature was within the approved range.
• Space Plan/Fire Escape Plan - We had to draw up a map of our house and show at least two escape routes from each room.  In addition to showing this to the fire marshall, we had to submit this to our agency.
• Financial Information Worksheet - this form itemizes all of our financial assets and liabilities.
• Copy of Last Year's 1040 tax form
• Statement of Faith - we each had to answer four questions about our faith - things like how we came to faith, what our involvement is at church, how we plan to pass on our faith to our children, etc.
• Firearm Safety Checklist - we had to fill one of these out for each of the firearms that Jason owns.  This included a checklist of normal safety stuff (e.g. is the trigger clean and in working order, are they locked in a gun safe, etc.), and also a place for us to enter the serial numbers of the firearms so that our agency can track them and make sure that none of them were used in crimes, stolen, etc.
• Copy of Dog's License and Vaccination Record
• Family Health History - this form details any medical/emotional health issues in each of our families.
• Background Check Release - this allows our agency to conduct a full background check on us with Child Protective Services.
• Criminal Clearance - we each had to go get our fingerprints taken.  They do this electronically now, which is great - our agency had the results later the same day!
• CPR Certification - as part of our training with our agency, we each earned our CPR certification - for adult, child, and infant CPR.  A copy of our certification cards had to be included in our file.
• Marriage Certificate
• Birth Certificates 
• Certified Copy of MVA Records - we each had to get a certified copy of our complete driving records from the MVA.  Luckily, you can order these online now, so we didn't have to actually go stand in line at the MVA!
• Affidavit of Health Insurance - we had to have at least one of our employers sign off that we had access to health insurance and that our child could/would be covered under that insurance. 
• Training Records - we each had to record all of the training we did through the agency and submit this to our social worker when we were finished.  
• Openness Worksheet - on this page, we had to specify how open we would like our relationship with the birthparents to be.  More info on this to come in a later blog post...
• Questionnaires 1 and 2 - these focused on our relationships with our parents, extended family, and each other.  The first one we had to fill out and submit a few weeks ago.  The second one we had to fill out at our individual interviews - that one focused a lot more on family history of abuse (drug/alcohol, sexual, physical, verbal, emotional, etc.).
• Adoption Preferences - here we had to list how open we were to all sorts of things - attributes of the child (e.g. gender, race, medical or emotional conditions), social and medical history of the birthparents (e.g. victim of rape or incest, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, drug/alcohol use or abuse during pregnancy, criminal history, etc.), birthmother's prenatal care, and openness between our family and the birthparents.
• Support System - we have to list the names and contact information for three individuals and/or families who will be there to support us following placement (meals, child care, etc.).  We also have to list a physician or mental health professional that will be available to treat us for depression or anxiety if needed.  Lastly, we need to identify both a personal and organizational adoption support group with whom we can connect.
• Guardianship - we have to name who will be the guardian(s) of our child should something happen to both of us.  The guardian(s) have to sign a form in the presence of a witness.  This technically isn't a legally binding document - we still have to update our will accordingly, but it gives the agency something to work with and some peace of mind that we have made the appropriate plans.
• Book Reports/Analysis - we each have to read three books and write a 1-2 page paper on each book.  The papers are supposed to analyze the books and provide our responses to the books.  The three books are:  Labor of the Heart, Dear Birthmother, and Raising Adopted Children.  

While all of this definitely is a lot, it actually hasn't been as bad as we expected.  We kept it all organized using an excel spreadsheet and kept copies s of everything we submitted.  Our social worker has been great about answering questions and helping us through the process.  We're almost done with the paperwork - just a few more things left to submit!

Love,

Jason and Jeannine

Individual Interviews

Jason and I are starting this blog mid-stream in our adoption process.  We'll write some posts later to catch up on why we are adopting, what the process has been like so far, how we've grown and changed already, etc.  But for now, we'll pick up with current events - our individual interviews!  


The interviews were two hours each, and scheduled back-to-back so that we couldn't "compare note" with each other between interviews.  The most nerve-wracking part was that we weren't sure what types of questions to expect.  Would they be hard questions?  Would we be put on the defensive?  Would our answers line up?

Afterward, we both agreed that it wasn't too bad.  As best as we can remember, the questions were regarding the following:

• our parent's personalities and our relationships with them as children, teenagers, and now, including how often we see them and communicate with them
• what growing up was like for us (family lifestyle, interaction with extended family, how we were disciplined, how faith played a role in our family, family values, etc.)
• what we were like as kids and in high school and college, including interests and activities, experimentation with drugs and alcohol, etc.
• family medical history and our own medical histories, including physical and mental/emotional 
• our strengths and weaknesses
• our marriage, including how we each act when mad or upset, any especially trying times in our marriage, etc.
• how we came to faith, how we are involved in our church, etc.
• how we plan to discipline our children
• our values 
• our close friends and our support system 
• employment history - first job, other jobs, professional life, main responsibilities in current job, what we like/don't like about current job, etc.
• exposure to diversity (racial and lifestyle) and thoughts on it
• political views
• how we handle stereotypes 
• our communication and problem solving skills 

So, what's next?  We have a few more pieces of paperwork to get in, including some more "book reports" (we have to read several adoption books and write up our analysis of each book).  Next Thursday (6/27), our social worker is coming to our home for our joint interview and home inspection.  The joint interview will be with both of us and is expected to last approximately two hours.  The home inspection is expected to last approximately an hour.  At that visit, we need to have all of our hazardous materials (cleaning supplies, tools, guns, etc.) child-proofed.  We also need to have purchased other child safety equipment (plugs for outlets, etc.).  Other than that, we're not quite sure what to expect during the visit - we've already had our house inspected by the fire marshall and the county code enforcement officer.  We suspect she'll look at the size of the child's room, for any safety issues, and generally whether or not our place is habitable.  Guess we'd better get cleaning! :)

Once we complete next week's joint interview and visit, and get our paperwork in, we'll be officially finished with the home-study process.  Then, our social worker takes approximately two weeks to write up our home-study report.  The report goes to the Executive Director of the agency, who has to approve it.  After that, it comes to us for our approval.  We have the chance to make any changes that are necessary (misspellings, errors in dates or ages, etc.).  Once it looks good, we sign it and then we are officially approved to be adoptive parents!

In the meantime, we'll be working on our "profile."  Our profile is basically a little book that, in words and pictures, tells the birthmother about us.  If a birthmother likes what she sees in the profile, she can either select us or choose to meet us before making a decision.  More about that later - but for now, we need to focus on getting our profile done because once it is done and we have our home-study approval, the agency can start showing our profile to birthmothers.

I think that's enough for now - we'll try to update over the next week or two to catch up on everything we've experienced up until now!  In the meantime, please be praying:

1. For the Lord to be creating the right child for our family
2. For the birthmother of our child
3. For us, as we are preparing to be parents, that the Lord would be molding us and shaping us into the right kind of parents for our child 

Love,
Jason and Jeannine