What Happens After The Call?

At some point, we’ll receive a phone call letting us know that we have been matched with a child.  What happens after that? 

Birthparents relinquishing rights: 

First, both birthparents must relinquish their rights to the child.  In some states, this can be done prior to birth, but here in Maryland, this is done after the baby is born.  Ideally, both birthparents will sign the paperwork shortly after birth, but the timing can vary depending on the specific circumstances.  Especially in cases where the birthfather is not present or is not known, it can get tricky because the agency must track him down so that he can relinquish his rights. 

After the birthparents sign the paperwork, they each have 30 days to change their minds.  This 30 day period is called the “risk period” because either birthparent can change his/her mind and call off the adoption. 

During the risk period: 

During the risk period, our agency will place the baby with one of its interim care workers (like a foster parent), who will care for the baby until the risk period has expired.  We will be able to visit with the baby approximately once a week at our agency’s office during this time.

Placement: 

Once the risk period is over, there will be a placement ceremony, and after that ceremony, we will be able to bring our baby home.  The baby will be living with us from this point forward, but legally will still be under the guardianship of our agency (again, think foster parent).  Our agency will conduct regular visits in our home to check on the baby and also to support us with any transitional issues.

Legal Adoption: 

Approximately six months to a year after placement (depending on the court’s timeframe), we will go to court to make everything official.  At that point, we will legally become the baby’s parents.

So, a hypothetical timeline would look like this:

--Baby born:  March 27^th

--Birthmother relinquishes rights:  March 29^th

--Birthfather located:  April 2^nd

--Birthfather relinquishes rights:  April 4^th

--Risk period for birthmother expires:  April 28^th

--Risk period for birthfather expires:  May 4^th

--Child placed with us:  shortly after May 4^th

--Child legally adopted:  sometime between November and May

How Much Longer?

“So, when is this adoption going to happen?”  It would be awesome for my type-A self to know the answer to this question, but alas, we have no idea.  When we went through our training at the beginning of the process back in 2013, we were told that it would likely take between four months and five years for a child to be matched with us.  You read that right:  Four months to five years.  Quite a range, eh?

A few months ago, we found out that the median wait time is now only a year and a half, and that out of 35 waiting families, there is only one family that has been waiting for more than two years.  We quickly did the math and realized that we have been waiting for a year and a half – exactly the median. 

With that, everything became a lot less theoretical and a lot more real.  We are excited and ready (at least, as ready as anyone can ever be for something so life-changing).  And we are scared – scared of the huge change that could come at any time and scared of the disappointment if our wait doesn’t come to an end as soon as we think it should.  We are continually reminding ourselves of the need to rest in the Lord’s perfect timing, and as usual, He has been sustaining us each step of the way.

Here are a few ways you can be praying with us while we wait: 

1.    Pray that we would continue to be molded into the best parents for our child.

2.    Pray that the Lord would be protecting our child and preparing him or her for our family.

3.    Pray that our child’s birthparents would be comforted and encouraged as they make plans for their child, and that the Lord would be surrounding them with an excellent support system.

4.    Pray that we would rest fully in the Lord’s timing.

Thanks for supporting us in this journey!

Jason and Jeannine