As promised, here are you
questions - and the answers - about our upcoming adoption:
Q: When did you
find out about baby girl?
A: She was born on Tuesday, March 17th,
and we found out about her three days later, on Friday, March 20th
around 12:30pm. We got to meet her for
the first time on Tuesday, March 24th.
Q: How much
information about baby girl did you get before you had to decide whether or not
to proceed? How much medical information
might you get, including information about hereditary conditions?
A: We knew birthmom’s first name and basic medical
history. We knew how many prenatal
appointments birthmom had and when she started those. We knew the basics of baby girl’s health. We knew both birthparents’ races. We will get more information once baby girl
is ours – including her full medical history.
The information on hereditary conditions is all self-reported by the
birthparents, so that is a bit harder to know for sure, but we do know what was
reported by the birthparents.
Q: Do you know
why birthmom chose you guys?
A: Nope.
We do know that she picked us our after looking at available family
profile books (basically picture books with some words describing who we are
and why we want to adopt), rather than having the agency pick out a family for
her baby, but we don’t know why she chose us specifically.
Q: Have you, or
will you, meet birthmom?
A: We haven’t yet and don’t expect to anytime in
the near future, but we hope to meet her, and have baby girl meet her, sometime
down the road. We will be sending
birthmom a letter and pictures once a year.
Q: Why is there
an interim caregiver?
A: There is a period of time after one or both
birthparents sign to terminate their parental rights when the baby is not in their
care, but cannot come home with us yet because the risk of a disrupted adoption
is too high. In Maryland, both
birthparents have 30 days to change their minds after they sign the papers to
terminate their parental rights. During
those 30 days, our agency has the baby in its own “foster care” system to
protect everyone from the risk of disruption.
PS: We absolutely love baby
girl’s foster mamma – she is delightful and we know baby girl is in great
hands!
Q: How often do
you get to see baby girl?
A: Once a week, for an hour each time. Foster mamma meets us at our agency’s offices
and we get to spend time alone with baby girl for about an hour. At the end of the visit, foster mamma comes
in and lets us know how baby girl has been doing and what she’s been up to, and
we have a chance to ask any questions that will help us prepare for her (such
as “what kind of formula is she on” and “what kind of bottle is she using” and
“is she always this laid back?”). After
that, we meet briefly with our social worker for any process updates or
questions.
Q: How much is
your adoption of baby girl costing you?
Q: Do you need
any baby stuff?
A: We have the basics that we think we’ll need
right away, but we do have a registry up
for the things that either we know we’ll need more of, know we’ll need later,
or don’t consider absolute essentials.
We are waiting until closer to bringing her home to stock up on formula
so we make sure we are getting her the kind that works best for her and that
she is used to. We will also need
disposable diapers in various sizes (we are going to try cloth at home and
disposable when out and about). Several
folks have given us things they aren’t using anymore, which has been wonderful
– thanks, y’all!
Q: What is baby
girl’s name? Did you pick it or did birthmom?
A: We’re going to wait until we bring her home
before we announce her name. Birthmom
did name her at birth, including both a first and middle name. We are going to keep one of those names and
pair it with a name of our choosing. The
naming issue has been one of great debate over the past few weeks, but we think
we’ve finally settled on it… stay tuned!
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