On Waiting

We are about two months into our “waiting” period.  Basically, we sit around waiting for “the call” from our agency, which will let us know that there is a child waiting for us.  Ok, we don’t really just sit around – in fact, our social worker specifically told us to NOT to sit around waiting for a phone call – to live our lives as normal, plan for vacations, etc.  But still, we do know that any minute – whether now or five years from now – we could get a life-changing phone call.

I thought I would have a tough time with waiting because I am soooooo not a patient person.  Surprisingly, THAT hasn’t been an issue for me yet.  Rather, I’ve struggled getting back to “normal life” almost TOO easily.  I find myself feeling like the entire adoption process was a dream, or a movie I saw long ago.  It seems much less “real” than it did before.  I find myself second-guessing this our decision to have a family.  I’m selfishly enjoying time without the responsibilities of children.  It’s becoming difficult to imagine life with a child, while just a few months ago it was easy to do so. 

So, are we still going forward with the plan?  Yes.  We know that we have been called to adopt and that our feelings and level of emotional excitement about it don’t change that calling.  We’re content to “ride it out” and see what’s in store for us along the way!