Catching Up

It’s been a while since we last posted (over two months, actually).  I could say that it’s because we’ve been busy – which is true.  But it’s also been a time of processing things and not being sure how to write about them yet.  It’s a weird thing, this being in limbo thing.  Not bad, just weird.

Anyway, to catch you up briefly, here’s what’s been going on since our last update:

Jeannine’s switch to part-time work

I (Jeannine) have reduced my hours at work, and am now only working four days each week.  This was something I had talked about with my bosses as a way to transition to more part-time work once we have a child placed with us.  Do we know for sure that I plan on working part-time once we have a child?  Nope.  No idea – just taking it one day at a time and trying to make reasonable plans in the meantime. 

I’m loving having this extra day off each week – I’ve been able to volunteer some of that time doing some other types of work for my school, I’ve been able to take some of the load off of Jason with things at home, I’ve been able to catch up with friends and spend time helping people from church with various things, etc.  It’s been great!

Dear friends bring home a baby girl

Our dear friend from college and her husband adopted a baby girl a few weeks ago.  They live in another state where the laws are much different than they are here in MD.  In MD, the birthparents can’t sign away their rights until the baby is born, and then they have 30 days from the date of signing to change their minds.  This means that the earliest we would be able to bring a baby home would be at a month old.  In our friends’ state, the birthparents can sign away their rights before birth, and then only have 72 hours after birth to change their minds.  It was so exciting to hear the news that our friends had gotten “the call” and were at the hospital with a little girl.  They asked for prayer as, at the time of their email, there were still four hours to go until the 72 hours were up.  It was good news for them and they received the “all clear” that night. 

Would you join us in praying for them as they adjust to being parents?  Also, please pray for their daughter’s birthparents, that they would experience emotional healing and that the Lord would surround them with a good support system during this time of grief. 

Some of our friends who knew about this wondered if it was hard for us to watch our friends take their baby home, especially because they got approved just a few months before we did.  God has really blessed us through this, because both Jason and I can truly say that we were joyful for them – there was no envy or bitterness or sadness on our part.  I’m sure that as our process goes on (our agency has warned us that we could have a wait of five years, after all), we might experience these feelings as other friends adopt or have biological children.  For now, though, we are at peace with waiting and are enjoying seeing our friends blessed with little ones!  This is truly a gift from God, because (as Jason can testify), I am not an especially patient person. J

Waiting families support group meetings

We’ve been to two support group meetings that our agency facilitates.  We are required to attend two a year, and so far, they have been worthwhile.

At the first one, a couple spoke to us about their adoption journey.  They waited for just over five years for a placement, and adopted their little boy in May.  It was helpful, but a bit daunting, to hear their perspective after such a long wait.

The second one was quite interesting and encouraging.  A mother came and spoke about her experience with adoption – both as a birthmother when she was younger, and now as the parent of two adopted daughters.  One of her children was born in China and because of the way things work in China (birthmothers have to anonymously give up their children because the law prohibits it), there is no way to ever find out who her daughter’s birthmother is, let alone have any contact with her.  Her other daughter, though, was born here in MD and they have ongoing contact (what is known as an “open adoption”) with those birthparents.  This mother’s perspective was wonderful, especially given the complicated situation with her children (how do you explain to one child that she can’t know her birthmother, but her sister gets to see her birthmother several times a year) and with her experience as a birthmother herself.  Fascinating, eye-opening, and encouraging.

Building new relationships

This past weekend, we had a chance to meet up with another couple from our adoption training classes.  We really hit it off with them during our training classes and were thrilled to be able to continue that relationship.  We met for a casual dinner and it was great to hear what they had been up to over the past couple of months.  When we started this process, we didn’t anticipate making new friends through it, but we are really blessed to have done so!

We’ll try to post again soon.  One thing that we want to do is pick up on the series that we started right before we got news that we were approved – regarding our preferences for what we are looking for in a child.  See our July 31^st post, which was the first (and so far, only) post in that series.  If you have specific questions about this topic, let us know so that we can be sure to address those questions!