It's Her Story to Share

A lot of you would love to know the details of baby girl’s life story thus far.  What are her birthparents like?  Why did they make an adoption plan for her?  What are her medical and social genetic histories? 

All intriguing questions, we know.  And we’ve intentionally been as open as possible with you about our adoption journey thus far.  However, we have decided that we won’t be answering those questions about baby girl’s story except on a truly need-to-know basis (for example, her pediatrician will need her full medical history).  These details are all a part of her own unique story, which we will share with her in age-appropriate ways over the years.  When she is older, she will have our full support if/when she wants to tell her story. 

Until then, here’s what you need to know:

-- She is our child and we love her unconditionally.  Many will refer to her biological parents as her “real” parents.  They are real people, yes, and she has their genes.  However, we will soon be her “real” parents and our love for her is as unbounded and unconditional as it would be for a biological child.

-- She has another family, including a biological mother and father.  This might make life messy from time to time, but within that messiness lies a certain beauty.  We respect and love her biological parents for making an adoption plan for her and trusting us to parent her. 

-- We don’t anticipate that life will be perfect once we bring her home – we expect our fair share of angst and struggle and heartache, just like we would with a biological child.  Some of the issues may be more complicated than most (especially those dealing with adoption and race as relates to her identity formation), but many issues will be similar to the issues biological parents face as they raise their children. 

-- She will need your love and acceptance and patience.  Growing up as an adoptee can be hard.  Help her feel accepted, but don’t pretend to ignore the fact that she is adopted.  See her for who she is, and validate her struggle to figure out her identity and where she fits in her families’ stories.  Realize that she will have conflicting emotions on her birthday and other special days as she celebrates with us but wonders about and grieves for her biological parents.  Be aware that not all of her issues are because she is adopted, but that many of her flaws will be just because she is human and born with a sinful nature.  Pray for her regularly, that she would find her identity in the Lord, not in our family or in herself.  Be willing to see her for who she is and meet her there, and then walk alongside her as she figures out the rest of her story.

Thank you for all your support through this process.  Keep praying that the legal issues are resolved at the right time and that we can bring her home as soon as possible!